Zen by Default

Photo-Daily Mail

My job of these past six months or so has maybe been the biggest surprise of my life. I never saw myself as able to give to other people in any unusual or extraordinary way. I've always secretly been disturbed by what I viewed as having a closed up nature . A hermit by choice all these years, except for raising my children of course -but caring for one's family comes easily and on some level doesn't count in the big picture I'm thinking of. Even animals take care of their young ones.

In working with geriatric patients of all backgrounds and various degrees of health, I've learned more things than I can comprehend or relate to anybody. I'm still sorting the data, still putting the puzzle together. A culmination of tiny things learned here and there, til one day they mount up and I feel a slight shift on the inside, somehow.
I have changed more in the last six months than in the whole of my previous life put together. I'm not any good at explaining how, either- it's like standing on the surface of the moon, trying to describe the sensational rocks and stark, back-lit craters to somebody over the phone. The listener on the other end makes all the appropriate noises, but in the end, they're secretly thinking that the space capsule was probably cold, the journey endless and that those prepackaged tinfoil meals were tiresome after the first few days.
It's true that the nuts and bolts of caring for sick or elderly people doesn't make for fascinating copy. But somehow, there is a luminous glow to this job that is invisible to the casual observer. It's the unseen gift that allows it's recipient to constantly grow and stretch, round out their sharp edges and become somebody they never realised they could be.